„Hi, Hey, Hello. Over here.
Can you see me? The man sitting in the chair with the red suit.
I am not sure if I am dead or alive but I have some thoughts to tell you.
Its only thoughts and they might be gone tomorrow
My room in this city made me a landscape painter. The coexistence of Real estate and alienation play a role as well as Escapism.
I paint Windows where no windows are and get upset about the idea that a father bullies his son.
I talk from the perspective of being an artist in this city. A luxurious start point to begin with.
I like this Place, this city but I guess I have a depression, a depression driven by rent prices and expansive groceries.
The Situation of not having a home made me think of an architectural language through painting. Color and shape plays a role. Positive and funky. Capturing the fantastic aspect of arriving home. Even if "home" is a projection, an illusion, a place of desire.
Visit to the Deli.
My room does not measure more than 5 square meters, it became the production setting, a surreal factory. A place driven by a feeling of dissatisfaction.
I avoid looking out of the window, instead I make my own. I see poisoned souls often so I see myself walking there.
I like drinking. It creates the feeling of coziness and a home where there is none. This joy started here.
I think about people that come here, paticular from Germany where I am from. It seems the ultimate extension of a known environment, East to West, South to North. The feeling of „not having" gets compressed
and a feeling of endless freedom enchants the mind.
Is it real freedom?
I constantly hear a voice telling me about life upgrade. More,
better and bigger. It is like an addiction. To pretend it's still the past, wild and electrifying with gaps to slide in is not to overhear.
There I walk, down on the street. Reading an Email that makes me feel like a parasite
Visit to the Deli
Left with a feeling of pure coldness. Everything seems distanced. I think of processed meat and how far it seems from real meat, not to talk about the living animal.What does signature mean these days, Is it all surface?
While painting concepts found in mid century modernism, architectual ideas cross my mind. I think of tall these beautiful blocks. An architecture that provided elegance as a serial and affordable production and now become commodities.
It feels like a space accessible for the 1%, an elite
Energized and driven by Self speculation and Competition.
In my room I use small papers for drawing, added up they reach the dimension of medium to large Scale painting.
Smart or just poor.
Commodities: Arte Povera conceptually and aesthetically ripped off and sold.
Commodities: Conceptual art used as an aesthetic concept.
I don`t want to generalize
A Break. Visit to the deli.
On the corner, confessions of an opiumeater
Its a place of hypocracy. To show off engagement without really engaging. I wonder what all this means for art.
I switch on the German radio.
The news tells me that a herb extract with hallucinogenic effects was found in German groceries. Consumed groceries brought various people into a delirious state of mind, some even had to go to the hospital.
Witnesses say that a group of grannys were spotted in grocery stores shortly before the first consumers talked about effects from groceries.
Lateron the police found an empty building which got turned into a factory that extracts hallucinogenic components of plants and flowers. The extract got implanted into various groceries as well as body care products. The products of Manufaktum, the German retail trade that sells „the good all things“, where effected in a bigger scale. The radio further tells that the old womens were professional herbalists and poster painters.
This all happened close to where I grew up.
I trained those old ladies, hahaha.
I lean back into my chair with questions that floated in my head all day.
What sense makes a museum entrance by donation when a bottle of water costs 10 $? Is it true that my best friends are cats?
i should stop now, I talk to much. I know I invent things and more inventions are not needed in this world.
Please feel free to visit me, anytime. We can have a glass of Chateau Diana together and a fine slice of Boars Head Salami „
(New York 2018)